Spiritual Arrogance Cest Moi?

On Saturday April 10, 2010--
The night is not yet here. I see a lot of trees dancing in the wind, with the Sun still shining through them. It’s April and very cool, snow flew for a few short hours yesterday but did not stay on the ground. My way of being today, quiet and studious, gave me a chance to reflect on my week, the people I spent time with, the fun things I did with my family.

I am so grateful for what I have in this life. I gripe and groan about doing household chores but am grateful for them as they keep me active and focused on what matters most to me—peace and keeping my priorities in order.

Work life is sometimes stressful but exciting. Every day is a new adventure and spirits can run high. People crabbing and snapping at each other first brings out some annoyance or anger in me, which then morphs into compassion. I remember being that way moreso in my early 20s, when I thought I had to assert myself through aggression. I don’t feel the need to be aggressive but look for ways to be assertive with an inner strength I’ve acquired through spiritual practice. When I hear messages float through my brain saying “that’s stupid, I’m smarter or more capable than them, they should’ve done it this way or that” I counterbalance that dialogue with more positive internal messages such as “perhaps they are trying their best, they don’t know what they don’t know or they are still learning”.

Spiritual arrogance is a deadly, strange trap for me. I don’t try and avoid the negative inner dialogue. I address it by slipping into the skin, even momentarily, of the person whom seems less than enlightened to me. I find that trying to be in their place slows me down and gives me enough time to realize what I too was like or can be like. Recognizing my inner demons, judges or critics helps me befriend those aspects of myself, although they may be unpleasant to look at or hard for me to admit that I not only have those capabilities but that I could use them if improperly motivated. Trying to employ empathy in action.

Winter is done, Enter Spring

From February 17, a series of random reflections:
The snow is dancing outside my office window. They look like tiny commuters of the universe on a wayward journey of excitement and discovery. They are whirling about in what seems to be no pattern and an intricate dance at the same time. Their movements indicate a flurry of the unknown. Where will I land? Will I melt or stay in my current frozen state? Will I find new friends, let go of some old ones or speak to new flakes and discover I enjoy my time alone as well? This performance offers many questions, much movement plus loads of discovery and potential. Sounds like the human condition of earthbound suffering or doubt long before we reach Nirvana.