Time to Clean House, Heart, Head and Soul

It’s been a few months and lots of shuffling but I’m seeing changes happening in what stuff--physical items--I am tending to let go or keep.

Through parents and relatives I’ve inherited many things from collectibles to clothes and furniture. I have attachments to some items not because of financial value but because they invoke memories of a time or place with that person or group.

I want not to forget but to remember these things. So here’s my plan—I’ll take pictures of what I’m letting go (well, most everything) to reflect upon and then I have a record or more portable version of that thing I will miss. It’s something I decided to do today, now, as I realize I can’t attach myself mentally, physically, spiritually or emotionally to things if I want to feel true freedom. It’s ok that I remember and enjoy those memories these things invoke. But to cling to them as if they offer me they key to happiness and freedom, that’s not my path now.

To the people who will inherit or obtain these things, enjoy them as I did. Then let them go, not without a few pictures snapped before their departure though. This is freedom-enhancing advice that I plan on sticking to as my newest growth experiment.

What the World Needs Now, Fireworks

Driving to drop my days’ worth of sorting clothes and toys off at the local charity bins, I see the neighbours fireworks shooting high up into the sky. Red, green, yellow and blue, the shapes danced and lit up the night with bursts that had me smiling. I remember the first time I saw a professional fireworks display in Ancaster Ontario. The same colours but perhaps on a larger display scale echo in my mind’s eye. That original finale included a full-out Canadian flag shot onto the May 24 ebony screen. Chills of delight riveted up my spine. What magic that light and dark can play off against each other.

My life is much that way these days. The more I seek growth and a sense of balance the new level, new devil programme seems to kick into gear—a thank you to my “TTC” classmate for that reminder. Relationship challenges, especially to do with clear and effective communication, are creating some internal and external fireworks in my existence. That’s what I want though, an authentic existence made up of those more challenging and gritty conversations that get to the heart of what is really go on between “I and thou”. I welcome the emotional surge in my aching heart as I realize how much clarity of thought and purpose mean for myself. And from what they tell me, my being a clear communicator means a lot to my partner for my partner, my friends and loved ones. I can respect that and strive to grow with their feedback firmly planted in my psyche.

I recently read a quote from one on my trainers at http://www.transpersonalcanada.com/ that went something like “a bit of disillusionment…can offer a bit of enlightenment.” I’ve had some deeply heartfelt conversations with people closest to me recently and have found myself in tears of frustration but after that wave a sense of peace came upon me. It’s OK to not find my life as perfect, but find perfection in the life that I do have. Beautiful.

A Lovely Mothers Day Cold

Turns out I do have a cold. At 4 am Mother's Day I awoke to a sore throat and throbbing headache so took some light pharmeceuticals and returned to bed. By 6:30 am I am being presented with a beautiful construction paper card and classroom-rendered bath bombs--which I promise to use as soon as I can get a foot soak organized. What a kid. By 8:00 am, Husband indicates there's something for me on the window sill and he's correct. A card that says "Great Wife and Mother"..."today is all about you".

The last sentence catches me off guard, tears well, I place the card on the top shelf so I can stare at it, remember the verses inside and embody what it suggests. I am grateful being a woman, wife and mother. And that I am acknowledged as being great at these roles plus there's a day set aside to recognize those points, well, I feel bashful and joyful.

By 11:30 am we are freshened up and parking the vehicle to enter a family lunch of chicken and cake plus smiles. I receive a warm welcome and more acknowedgement. We return home to relax, work on my cold symptoms and watch much programming on Discovery and Learning Channels.

By 8:30 pm I am tucking in girl and she tells me she wants to snuggle with me and worries that I'm not feeling well. I tell her to think positive thoughts and things will be fine. She told me several days before I'm the best mom for her. I think she's correct. And I know she is the best kid for me. Peace out there to my mom, all moms. Let's be grateful for all that we have in this wondrous role, one of the hardest and most important we will ever play.